the times, they are a changin'

Law school starts in exactly one week. Seven days. 168 hours. 10,080 minutes. [in case you were counting]

I was buying my books the other day [and dropping enough money to buy a nice television, a very nice watch, or lots of things from Fossil] when it hit me that my books look like the ones in movies. You know, those ginormous, leather bound books that sit on the shelves of libraries in movies like Meet Joe Black. It sounds completely ridiculous, but I think that the deeper message protruding from that inane thought was that life post college is real. That Jamie and Kara really did move away. That I really am going to law school. That my life in Austin is already becoming something I don’t really know.

It’s happening. And I can’t stop it.

I think most of you who know me well know that I love control. I’m the type-A planner sort, that girl who would add things to a to-do list that are already completed solely for the purpose of crossing out said completed task [issues, I know]. And however much I love to be in control, thriving off of a completed to-do list, I am on a long journey that is showing me that control is not my responsibility.

It has proven to be a very difficult lesson for me to learn, but I am realizing that control is not a responsibility I have to bear. I know that when control is something I try to carry, I am easily overburdened. And disturbed by things like spontaneity and uncertainty. And when those winds of change start to blow me out my comfort zone and into some place where I don’t know how I fit in, I feel completely lost and unsure of who I am.

But this is not the life I am called to lead, burdened by the unseen forces of change and uncertainty. When I release this load to the One who can carry it best, I can live as I was originally created to be. I can take hold of this life I have been given, living in full confidence of who I am and where I am going. The One who has given me life has gone before me, intricately preparing my way, longing to carry the heavy burden I so often wish to carry myself, and gently whispering in my soul that there is a better way. 'Take up my burden, my yoke, and find your rest in me.’

Though change seems to be blowing into my life with hurricane-force winds, I can find my footing in Him who is unmovable, unshakeable, and unconquerable. And though life right now is adorned with anxiety, uncertainty, and loneliness, a twinge of excitement propels me forward into this newfound adulthood. ‘Because He promises that He will never leave me or forsake me, I can boldly say I will not fear.’

And so while it seems like I went to bed a kid and woke up an adult, there is hope in knowing that His mercies are renewed daily. That He promises new experiences, new joys, and life to the full. Maybe, for right now, I can just enjoy the grace He has already given me. I can be thankful for those dear friends that I desperately miss, deeply grateful for the people who are still here, and confident because I know that I’m right where I’m supposed to be.

but he said to me, “my grace is sufficient for you…” [2 corinthians 12:9]

It's Olympics Time!!! [part 2]

(an edit to this post):
Okay, so I have pretty much been watching the Olympics 24/7, but the best moment by far was watching the US relay team come from behind to break a world record and silence the French in the 4x100! My roommates and I were jumping up and down, yelling and screaming at our television as we watched one of the greatest sporting moments I have ever seen. It sure brings a ton of national pride, especially when the French have been talking trash! I don't know about you, but I totally feel like singing Lee Greenwood's 'Proud to be an American'!!! GO USA!

(an edit to my previous post):
After a somewhat intense conversation with some friends after church as to the legitimacy of ping-pong and badmitton as sports, I have decided that taking up either of those (or maybe skeet-shooting) might allow me to achieve my Olympic dreams without too much physical strain or sacrifice of sugar.

And for the record, I still do not consider those 'leisure activities' real sports. But, I just might change my mind if playing ping-pong gets me a gold medal in the Olympic games.

It's Olympics Time!!!

I think for all of us who once called ourselves athletes, there is something about watching the opening ceremony of the Olympics that excites you. From the comfort of your couch, the opening ceremony seems magical enough to give you a rush of endorphins via your high-definition television screen. The athlete inside of you remembers what it is like to compete on the highest level, to feel the thrill of playing in front of a crowd, the agony that comes with a hard-fought loss. Your muscles remember the motions you used to make a thousand times over, and that competitor inside of you longs to feel the exhilaration of constantly putting your body to a test.

You watch the men and women march in to an athletic stage of the highest kind, and part of you feels like you could be there if you really tried. You tell yourself that tomorrow will be the resurrection of your athletic career. No more sleeping in late; morning is the best time to run. Forget that strawberry ice cream that you polished off after a barbeque dinner. It sure won't help you get your body into competitive form again.

But...the ceremony ends, and you remember that you don't really enjoy getting up for an early morning jog anymore. And that strawberry ice cream seemed especially delicious last night. And if you were busy training to be an Olympic athlete, you'd miss most of your shows and probably wouldn't be able to hang out with your friends as much. Granted, you might have to pass up a deal with Nike or Speedo, but maybe it's okay to be a has-been too. Maybe, remembering what you used to be will be enough to get you through the 17 days of non-stop athletic competition.

And so I will continue to wear in my spot on the couch, eating ice cream after dinner and sleeping in too late. But man, I sure do love the Olympics.